for

Saloni

Bubu ❤️

A small square,

with the lights still off.

Walk, and they come on.

chapter one

Before this is about us,

it should be about you.

SaloniBubu

about 3 years of knowing you

  • pani puri
  • dairy milk
  • chocolate brownie
  • ice cream
  • long drives with nowhere to be
  • notices effort before anything else
  • answers to baby
  • irritates me on purpose
You, standing in the garden, smiling straight at the camera.
you
a college corridor

I was late for something.

You were on your way to a lecture.

We talked for a few minutes.

That was all it was.

That was enough.

कोई बड़ी बात नहीं हुई थी उस दिन,

बस एक बातचीत थी, जो अब तक चल रही है।

one reel, one joke

jo pehle aayega usko dairy milk milegi

one reel, from you

You were joking.

I went anyway.

एक मज़ाक़ था, एक रील थी, एक चॉकलेट थी —

और उसी छोटी सी बात से तू मेरी आदत हो गई।

volunteer

Tech Majari

because you were there

tech majari
go homestay as a volunteer

I was going to go home.

I stayed on as a volunteer instead.

Extra hours in the same place as you.

Best paperwork I ever signed.

ahmedabad → junagadh

The door of the local train

No ticket.

The plan died twice.

You told me not to come.

I came anyway.

Local train. No seat. Standing at the door the whole way.

We climbed.

Then ice cream, because obviously.

It was never about the distance. Seeing you was worth the trouble.

रास्ता लंबा था, सीट नहीं मिली, दरवाज़े पर खड़ा रहा —

थकान याद नहीं है मुझे, तेरा चेहरा याद है।

the stalls

Things I know about you

0 / 4 found

tap the dark ones.

बड़ी बातें वक़्त के साथ भूल जाती हैं,

तेरी छोटी-छोटी पसंद मुझे याद रह जाती है।

somewhere on the ring road
the road
The two of us walking away hand in hand, you turning back towards the camera.
the passenger seat

swipe to look over

We never really had a destination.

You just liked the drive.

So did I.

कहीं पहुँचना ज़रूरी नहीं था उस शाम,

तेरे साथ गाड़ी में बैठना ही मंज़िल थी।

bhavnagar

I was home. Family things. Work things.

None of that is the point.

You were waiting for Saturday. I did not come.

And before that, I had gone quiet for days.

never sent

Where are you?

Did you eat?

How are you?

m
t
w
t
f
s
s

Saturday — we had plans

I keep saying I was busy.

I was.

And I still had two minutes.

Two minutes to ask if you had eaten.

Being busy is not the mistake.

0:00two minutes

that is all it was

Letting it make you feel forgotten is.

काम बहुत थे, ये सच है — बहाना नहीं बनाऊँगा,

दो मिनट मेरे पास थे, वो मैं तुझे नहीं दे पाया।

five lamps

Not vows. Just things I will do.

press each one

the stall that is not built yet

Pick three.

In order. I am writing it down.

3 more

nothing printed yet

the letter

Saloni,

I want to start with something that has nothing to do with me. You notice things. When someone in your group goes quiet, you are the one who asks. You do it without making it a whole event. I have watched you do it for three years and I do not think you know it is unusual.

I have not given you enough time. I am not going to dress that up. There were weeks where you were the last thing on a list, and a list is not where you belong.

The part I got wrong is not that I was busy. I was busy. That part is true and it is also not an excuse, because I had two minutes. I had two minutes in a day and I did not spend them asking where you were or whether you had eaten. You were waiting for Saturday and I did not come, and before that I had already gone quiet, and that quiet is the thing that actually hurt. Being forgotten is worse than being told no.

So here is what I want instead. Not one big gesture — I know you would see through it in a second. More small ones. The call at night. The plate of pani puri. The drive with nowhere to be. A message on the day I have no time, especially on the day I have no time.

Thank you for teasing me. Thank you for being patient longer than I deserved. You are not a part of my week. You are the point of it.

Maru Jiv.

— Dudu

every light you turned on

You, standing in the garden, smiling straight at the camera.
The two of us standing together, my arm around you, you looking up at me.
The two of us walking away hand in hand, you turning back towards the camera.
The two of us standing together outside, on another day.
The two of us, close, both looking straight at the camera.
us

I love you.

I LOVE YOU MARA JIV ❤️

— Dudu